the forgotten

time and tide

rise and fall

they came they go

but here and now

one must stay

I was reading my friend's blog and came across something that was really interesting. She is sojourning in the US of A just as I am. She came across a VCR player and tapes tucked cosily under a 42" state-of-the art TV in her mother's house as was absolutely shell-shocked. Anyone born and raised in the great city that is Nairobi will understand this shock. I mean this is obsolete technology whose place is alongside hieroglyphics of Ancient Egypt and the dark ages of Europe. This is technology not heard of in more than a decade. We have evolved over and beyond VCDs, upgraded to DVDs then Blue-ray disc (for those who have space to spare at home) and finally just saving all our audio-visual entertainment on computers and external hard drives. But a VCR in arguably the most technologically advanced country in the world! Incredulous!! But this is not what caught my attention, its her statement afterwards that did-the US adapt but don't forget to preserve whilst in Africa we adapt and forget. This statement rung true for me, but not on the technological front rather on a more personal level.

I instantly thought of all the things I have had in life, outgrown and discarded. Not only material things, but also the immaterial, the intangible, the ones that matter the most. the things that will suffer this same fate in the future. Even as I write this, there are some clothes in danger of suffering this fate. But who can fault me really? I need to create some space for the new and shiny but getting rid of the old and rugged. But I stop and think, and think again. What have I gained over the years as I adapt? What have I lost in the process? My mind settles on the most important, the crème of the crop. My most important lost possessions double up as the most important aspect of my life and they seem to have suffered the most. Friendships. I have been told that I can make friends anywhere I go, not because I am likeable, but because I am so outgoing people have no choice. But unfortunately in the process I have lost too many friends. So many in fact, that I wonder if its really worth making any more. Is it that I have too many friends that I can't maintain them all? Or do I simply forget the old when I get the new?

I remember telling a friend 2 years ago of a sad realisation, that friends in this world are a dime a dozen simply because they all come and go. And there always seem to be others waiting in the periphery to take their place. But true friends are irreplaceable, right? Well, I stand corrected. As I adapt with life, I now find myself in a situation where even the invaluable true friends, those one in a million friends I trust with my life, are no longer there. Did I adapt and forget to preserve? Is this on me? Could I have been a better friend? But now what choice am I left with other than to forget as I adapt? We outgrow friendships and get into new ones. Some out of necessity for a season, some out of circumstance but all with the same end result-adapt and forgotten. I now find myself challenged, a simple challenge but a momentous task-to hang on to one friend, to adapt but not to forget.

Special thanks to Lil1984 for the inspiration