A or B
this or that
blessing or curse
it doesn't matter
the choice is yours
b.c.
I believe everything in life always boils down to choice. We are given several options to choose from and we must pick the one that will has the greatest benefit for the least amount of trouble, so to speak. That is the one thing we humans are blessed with that may differentiate us from other animals-the ability to look at the choices analytically and pick one. This gift comes with a curse because we don't always make the correct choices or should I say the 'best' choices. I put the word best in quotes because we may make choices to suit others, even though some people may argue that that is the best choice because we were being selfless. i reserve my judgment on the issue. But I digress...The problem with choice is that we will one day find yourself in a position where the choice is not that easy. Where this gift of ours truly becomes a curse, when whatever choice you make you seem to hurt someone somewhere.
I asked several of my friends this question and I am yet to get a conclusive or convincing answer, given the choice would you do something that you will live to regret or would you do something that you can never be forgiven for by someone important? Here is an example;imagine you are in a relationship then this person you have always had your eye on offers you one night of pleasure(the night could easily become a life time or just end at being a night). So what do you do then? Do you pass up the opportunity of a lifetime and live to regret not grabbing it or do you go ahead and do that person knowing very well if your significant other will never forgive you if they found out? This is one of those interactive blogs so I would really appreciate your input...I shall reserve my comments or opinions on the same lest I influence someone's thinking
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
this battle
to and for
back and forth
it continues
this battle that internal
this battle that is eternal
b.c.
It is a crossroad we have all gotten to at a particular point in our lives. Some have been there more frequently than other while some are yet to get there(or so they claim). It is at this crossroad that we are forced to make a decision that may map the rest of our lives(or just the immediate future, but for dramatics' sake lets say the rest of your life). We are often put at war with ourselves when we have to make this choice-do what feels good or do what is right.
Here is a example, you like someone a lot. So much so that...okay moving on...but you know this person is not good for you meaning you can only get hurt. You have heard the rumours, you have seen how they treat you, but still... So now you are at the crossroad, do you pursue this person because you like them or do you do the logical thing and walk away. Hence the battle begins. Emotion versus logic. Emotion tells you that you should stick there. Try your best and don't believe what people say. Emotions go as far as rationalising all the misdeeds this person performed or accuse others of jealousy and/or malice. Emotions make you want to do what feels good here and now.
Logic on the other hand forces you to face the cold hard facts. This person is not worth you time if they treat you like less than human. Logic forces you to look and recognise the misdeeds as a fact of life. That if they misbehave now they will not change for anything because no one really changes. Logic forces you to make the 'right' choice based on cold hard facts. So the battle ensures. The intensity of this battle depends on each individual and each individual case scenario. People who are predominantly emotional will quickly ignore all logic because they believe in happy endings while those logical people will subdue their emotion and follow 'the evidence' to reach their decisions. So what happens to those of us like myself stuck right in the middle like myself? Those who are as emotional as we are logical...those whose battles are so intense that nothing seems to be the right decision...how do we eventually come to a conclusion? How do we suppress one so that the other can take control? And so the battle rages on...
NB: A friend of mine came up with a solution where she suggest that we should choose what feels good and prolong the feeling of pleasure for as long as possible so that when reality sets in, it makes it worth the trouble. Hmmm...
Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that emotional decisions are wrong
back and forth
it continues
this battle that internal
this battle that is eternal
b.c.
It is a crossroad we have all gotten to at a particular point in our lives. Some have been there more frequently than other while some are yet to get there(or so they claim). It is at this crossroad that we are forced to make a decision that may map the rest of our lives(or just the immediate future, but for dramatics' sake lets say the rest of your life). We are often put at war with ourselves when we have to make this choice-do what feels good or do what is right.
Here is a example, you like someone a lot. So much so that...okay moving on...but you know this person is not good for you meaning you can only get hurt. You have heard the rumours, you have seen how they treat you, but still... So now you are at the crossroad, do you pursue this person because you like them or do you do the logical thing and walk away. Hence the battle begins. Emotion versus logic. Emotion tells you that you should stick there. Try your best and don't believe what people say. Emotions go as far as rationalising all the misdeeds this person performed or accuse others of jealousy and/or malice. Emotions make you want to do what feels good here and now.
Logic on the other hand forces you to face the cold hard facts. This person is not worth you time if they treat you like less than human. Logic forces you to look and recognise the misdeeds as a fact of life. That if they misbehave now they will not change for anything because no one really changes. Logic forces you to make the 'right' choice based on cold hard facts. So the battle ensures. The intensity of this battle depends on each individual and each individual case scenario. People who are predominantly emotional will quickly ignore all logic because they believe in happy endings while those logical people will subdue their emotion and follow 'the evidence' to reach their decisions. So what happens to those of us like myself stuck right in the middle like myself? Those who are as emotional as we are logical...those whose battles are so intense that nothing seems to be the right decision...how do we eventually come to a conclusion? How do we suppress one so that the other can take control? And so the battle rages on...
NB: A friend of mine came up with a solution where she suggest that we should choose what feels good and prolong the feeling of pleasure for as long as possible so that when reality sets in, it makes it worth the trouble. Hmmm...
Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that emotional decisions are wrong
Monday, December 1, 2008
paradigm shift
there is a man in the mirror
looking back at me
who is he
where did he come from
where is the other man
the one I have come to know and love
b.c.
Conscience. By definition it is an ability or faculty or sense that leads to feelings of remorse when we do things that go against our moral values, or which informs our moral judgment before performing such an action. Debate is still rife on whether this ability is innate or whether it is acquired from those charged with the responsibility to guide us. I define it as our guiding principles, sort of like our internal 'slap on the wrist' when we do something 'wrong'.
I grew up in a catholic home where right and wrong were clearly defined for me. I knew when I had done something wrong and I could foresee the consequences of my actions even before my punishment was dished out. It got so bad that I would punish myself for an action that no one knew of or had any way of finding out. I had set parameters within which I built my whole belief system in. The parameters defined me and my character was built within them. I lived in the 'real' world where I interacted actively with people who came from different backgrounds and had different parameters that defined them. My own parameters kept me from being influenced by their belief systems so in as much as I spent a lot of time with them, I adopted none of their beliefs. We all remained, unchanged by our interaction.
But something happened that I didn't anticipate-I questioned the very guiding principles that had been hot-wired in me since childhood. You see, I had the fortune of going out of town for 9 weeks. I was no longer in the comfort of a home I had lived in for 24 years(I am a product of day schools so I have never really been away from home). This opportunity presented itself and I grabbed it with both hands. Finally I had a chance to see if I could live on my own. Little did I know that I had embanked on a journey of self-discovery. A journey I didn't deem necessary because throughout my life I knew who I was and I was happy in that knowledge. Those parameters or guiding principles defined me and I was comfortable. But being away from the people who entrenched the principles in me gave me a chance to evaluate them. I questioned the nature and the genesis of what I held dear to me for all this years, defined me, made me who I am. In doing so, I felt a change in me, a shift. I asked why and couldn't get any satisfactory answers. Everything I believed in suddenly seemed mundane or pointless.
9 weeks later I returned home a changed man. I came back with new guiding principles that i understood better and hence could me more true to. I returned ready to hold myself accountable to myself. Now I do things, not because I was told to, but because I understand them better and hence their implications to me and the people around me. They are MY guiding principles because at the end of the day it is MY conscience and it is me who will be held accountable for my actions.
My guiding principles have undergone radical surgery. They do not even bare a slight resemblances to the ones I had when I was growing up. Does this mean that i have no conscience? Am I wrong to disregard all I was taught about right and wrong as I grew up? These questions are subject to your judgment. All I know is that my conscience has new software which has resulted in a paradigm shift. I tell my friends that I found myself without even knowing that I was looking.
Every morning I look in the mirror and see what I have become. I see a stranger staring back at me and wonder who he is and what happened to the person I knew for all those years. The person who was in a comfort zone. The person who did nothing 'wrong' because he was told not to. The person I knew and loved. I stare at the strange person in the mirror knowing all the while that deep within me, this stranger is who I really am.
looking back at me
who is he
where did he come from
where is the other man
the one I have come to know and love
b.c.
Conscience. By definition it is an ability or faculty or sense that leads to feelings of remorse when we do things that go against our moral values, or which informs our moral judgment before performing such an action. Debate is still rife on whether this ability is innate or whether it is acquired from those charged with the responsibility to guide us. I define it as our guiding principles, sort of like our internal 'slap on the wrist' when we do something 'wrong'.
I grew up in a catholic home where right and wrong were clearly defined for me. I knew when I had done something wrong and I could foresee the consequences of my actions even before my punishment was dished out. It got so bad that I would punish myself for an action that no one knew of or had any way of finding out. I had set parameters within which I built my whole belief system in. The parameters defined me and my character was built within them. I lived in the 'real' world where I interacted actively with people who came from different backgrounds and had different parameters that defined them. My own parameters kept me from being influenced by their belief systems so in as much as I spent a lot of time with them, I adopted none of their beliefs. We all remained, unchanged by our interaction.
But something happened that I didn't anticipate-I questioned the very guiding principles that had been hot-wired in me since childhood. You see, I had the fortune of going out of town for 9 weeks. I was no longer in the comfort of a home I had lived in for 24 years(I am a product of day schools so I have never really been away from home). This opportunity presented itself and I grabbed it with both hands. Finally I had a chance to see if I could live on my own. Little did I know that I had embanked on a journey of self-discovery. A journey I didn't deem necessary because throughout my life I knew who I was and I was happy in that knowledge. Those parameters or guiding principles defined me and I was comfortable. But being away from the people who entrenched the principles in me gave me a chance to evaluate them. I questioned the nature and the genesis of what I held dear to me for all this years, defined me, made me who I am. In doing so, I felt a change in me, a shift. I asked why and couldn't get any satisfactory answers. Everything I believed in suddenly seemed mundane or pointless.
9 weeks later I returned home a changed man. I came back with new guiding principles that i understood better and hence could me more true to. I returned ready to hold myself accountable to myself. Now I do things, not because I was told to, but because I understand them better and hence their implications to me and the people around me. They are MY guiding principles because at the end of the day it is MY conscience and it is me who will be held accountable for my actions.
My guiding principles have undergone radical surgery. They do not even bare a slight resemblances to the ones I had when I was growing up. Does this mean that i have no conscience? Am I wrong to disregard all I was taught about right and wrong as I grew up? These questions are subject to your judgment. All I know is that my conscience has new software which has resulted in a paradigm shift. I tell my friends that I found myself without even knowing that I was looking.
Every morning I look in the mirror and see what I have become. I see a stranger staring back at me and wonder who he is and what happened to the person I knew for all those years. The person who was in a comfort zone. The person who did nothing 'wrong' because he was told not to. The person I knew and loved. I stare at the strange person in the mirror knowing all the while that deep within me, this stranger is who I really am.
pilot
I titled this entry pilot because it is my first attempt by me to pen down my thoughts and feelings. I really don't know how to do this, what to do or how to do it so i am just groping in the dark. Any advice is welcome at this point just to help out a newbie. So I think the title pilot is the most appropriate because it is yet to be endorsed by any network. Having said that let the journey begin...
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